


disaster gay

by ThinkingCAPSLOCK



Category: Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Background Poly, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 06:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15358344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThinkingCAPSLOCK/pseuds/ThinkingCAPSLOCK
Summary: Shinn Asuka is good at many things. But he is not good at confessions.





	disaster gay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dimanchemieux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimanchemieux/gifts).



> AU where everyone i like survives GSD and most of them move to Orb and live in the same neighbourhood and everyone's LGBT and/or poly and it's good. thanks bun for watching with me :)

Staring at Lunamaria and Rey in the kitchen is the most nerve-wracking experience Shinn has had since the war ended three years ago. His fingers twitch at his side, his throat feeling too dry and his mouth too moist. He hasn't moved from the doorway since he got downstairs after texting them both to meet him. Lunamaria watches him over the rim of her coffee mug, Rey lounging in his chair as he rolls an apple across the table. 

It's been ten minutes. He doesn't think he can do this after all.

"Soooo, is there a reason you had us both meet you here?" Lunamaria asks. Her eyebrow lifts in both judgment and curiosity. "I have plans today, Shinn."

Rey doesn't comment, but he looks up, and his silence says just as much. Shinn's hands twitch even more. These are his best friends. He graduated with them. He knows he can tell them anything. He can trust them. 

"I... I'm gay." 

A beat of silence where the world halts. Shinn stops breathing. He wishes he stopped existing. 

Then Lunamaria jumps out of her chair so fast it crashes to the floor.

"Shinn, I'm so sorry! For the comments! Of course I don't mind you holding me up for that!" Her arms wrap around his neck in the tightest hug she's ever given him, her smile pressing into his shoulder. Shinn chokes a bit. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much for telling us! And we love you no matter what, you know that right? This won't change anything between us. And we'll keep it a secret from whoever else you want us to, just say the word, and if you need-"

"Luna, you're choking him." Rey's calm voice floats over as he rises to his feet. He's smiling more widely than Shinn has seen him smile before. Lunamaria finally releases her death grip to cup Shinn's face in her hands. Rey puts a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Shinn, for trusting us with who you are. If you ever want to talk, you can talk to me. You're not alone." 

Shinn knows that. Rey's been open about being gay almost since they moved to Orb - and that was a big reason Shinn knew he could come out. He knew - hoped - that nothing would change between him and his friends, and based on their faces, their actions, nothing has. But, all the same, the tears come, and his shoulders shake, and he fumbles over his words as Lunamaria wraps her arms around him in a gentler hug.

"Thank you," Shinn murmurs. He reaches out a hand behind Lunamaria, which Rey takes without hesitating. He has no intention of letting go or letting Luna leave go any time soon. He hopes her plans really weren't that urgent after all. 

-

Rey isn't the only reason he decided to come out, though. The other, the major one, is standing on the other side of the fence, wearing a huge sunhat, khaki shorts, and a striped v-neck. Shinn can smell the layers of sunscreen he has to wear to keep from burning as he washes the deck.

Even when he's terribly dressed, Athrun Zala is still the most attractive man alive. 

It had been the resurgence of his crush on Athrun that made him realize he was gay - and that he had had a crush on his then-commanding officer three years prior. It had faded with time, as other things occupied him: therapy, settling into Orb, making friends, going to school. But the more time they spent together, laughing over dinner and movies, building machines together, even when Athrun came to help him with his homework... something changed. Shinn found himself blushing, found him heart pounding in his chest, found himself finding excuses to brush their hands together, debating what colour his eyes were when the light hit them, wondering if Athrun would ever kiss him the way he kissed his partners. 

But if telling Lunamaria and Rey had been hard, admitting his crush to his crush seems downright impossible. Shinn backs away from the fence, one slow step at a time, eyes lingering as Athrun turns off the pressure washer and wipes his forehead. He'll try again later. Maybe never. Maybe-

"Hey Shinn!" 

Oh, fuck.

"Hi, Athrun," Shinn replies, back going straight and stiff. He fidgets with his hands, notices, and hides them behind his back. "Is the uh, deck clean?"

"Yeah," Athrun nods as if it wasn't the most awkward and useless comment Shinn has ever uttered. He walks towards the fence, his damp bare feet getting slowly smudged with dirt and grass. "Cagalli was complaining this morning about how she hasn't had time to wash it yet. I figured I didn't have anything else to do while she's at work, you know?"

He's right at the fence, close enough that his sunhat starts to shade Shinn as well. Shinn gulps, nodding. No words come out of his mouth. Athrun's eyebrow goes up in that way it does when he's about to make a joke or be sarcastic.

"You okay there Shinn? You seem a little off. The heat getting to you, or did you just lose in Mario Kart again?"

Shinn bristles again - he is _not_ as bad at Mario Kart as everyone likes to say. And he isn't a sore loser. His arms cross on his chest, anger bubbling, as Athrun grins at his own joke. That does it. He's going to destroy Athrun, put him in his place, prove once and for all he isn't hotheaded, or angry, or bad at video games.

"I'm crush!" Shinn yells. Wait, what? That wasn't what he meant to say. He clears his throat. "I mean, I'm not bad at crush, I mean, gay, I mean, uh..." He stops, biting his cheek so hard he makes himself flinch. Great. Super. This is not how he meant this to go at all. "Bye."

Shinn turns on his heel, prepared to run back to the safety of his house and never see Athrun ever again. Sadly, the other Coordinator has an even faster reaction time, and a hand catches his arm before he even starts moving. Shinn groans, but stays still, eyes staring at the grass beneath his feet as Athrun lets go and hops the fence. He waits for the mocking, the teasing, the questions about whether or not he was having a heat stroke and needed help. 

But nothing comes.

After a minute, Shinn glances up. Athrun stands beside him, leaning against the fence, eyes patient, sunhat tilted back. His smile is gentle, without any of the teasing it held before. It makes him look his age, for once: all the pain and tightness that lingers in his eyes has melted away. Shinn's heart skips about ten beats. Athrun won't force it. He won't ask unless Shinn wants to speak. He knows when to draw the line and take things seriously. 

If Shinn hadn't already been madly in love, he would have fallen for Athrun Zala right then and there. 

"I'm gay," Shinn murmurs. Athrun nods, the quiet acceptance all he offers for now. He can tell Shinn isn't done - and by how much Shinn finds his feet shifting, maybe it isn't hard to guess. He rubs his sore cheek with a free hand, turning his eyes back to the ground. "And I - I wanted to come out, especially to you, because I have. Uh. A crush. On you. Kind of. Well, not kind of. And I wanted to know if maybe you'd be interested in dating me. I know you already have three partners, so I-"

"Sure."

"-I know it might be too much, or too soon, and-" Shinn's head snaps up so fast he almost bites his cheek again. Athrun's practically lounging now, ankles crossed, eyes closed. "Wait. Did you just say sure?"

"Yup." Athrun cracks open an eye, and the smirk returns to his smile. "Shinn, I'm not sure if you know this, but you're not very good at hiding your emotions. I figured you'd be asking me out sooner or later."

A thousand thoughts shoot through his mind at once. Athrun said yes. Athrun already knew. He was plenty good at hiding his emotions. Athrun's face is so handsome framed by the sun. Athrun said yes. Shinn's mouth works, open and closed, but the words can't quite come out yet. It takes Athrun's quiet laugh, the slight shake of his head, for the feelings to burst into the air.

"I'm not that obvious!" Athrun's look speaks louder than anything he could say, and Shinn feels heat rushing to his cheeks. "That's not - I mean - if you already knew, why the hell didn't you ask me out?!"

"I wanted to wait until you were ready." Despite his humour and sly looks, Athrun's maturity shines through, and Shinn finds himself unable to look away from those deep green eyes. "And I didn't want you to feel pressured to come out to anyone until you wanted to. Besides, it was kinda cute seeing you steal looks thinking I didn't notice."

"You didn't notice them all," Shinn mutters. He crosses his arms on his chest, forcing the scowl on his face, even as it threatens to tug into a smile. "So, are we, official now, or...?"

"Almost." Athrun straightens, stretching his hands over his head. Shinn very obviously does not stare at the small patch of stomach that shows as his shirt lifts. "I need to let Cagalli, Lacus, and Kira know before we start. It's the one rule we have: no keeping secrets, especially new partners. If you're comfortable with me telling them we're going to start dating, then we can be official the moment they know. Is that okay?"

Shinn nods. He expected something like that - it was only fair to Athrun and the rest of them that they know. The anxiety still rests in his mind about coming out, but it feels faint next to Athrun, fainter still when he reaches a hand out to ruffle Shinn's hair. His hand lingers, and Shinn enjoys the feeling, the closeness, the trailing fingers playing with his black hair. It was everything he'd wanted, everything he'd hoped. 

So far, the day has gone very well.

"Do you want to come in for some lemonade?" Athrun asks. He nods at the sky, drawing back his hand, leaving Shinn's hair even more of a rat's nest than usual. "If I stay out much longer I'm going to burn, and I did just clean a whole deck." 

"Oh, sure," Shinn replies. He reaches a hand up to pat down his hair as best he can. "That'd be-"

"For fuck's sake, _kiss him_ , Athrun!" 

Athrun and Shinn's heads snap up in the same moment. Leaning out the back window of Shinn's house are Heine, Lunamaria, and Rey. Heine's hands are cupped around his mouth - he'd been the one to shout, though the other two look just as eager. Lunamaria flashes two thumbs up, and Rey gives a knowing nod, and - did he just wink?! Shinn feels his face turning red, and is surprised to see Athrun's doing the same. His might be sunburn, though. It's hard to tell. 

"Should we give our apparent audience what they want?" Athrun asks. 

"So long as we destroy them at Mario Kart later today," Shinn says. Athrun laughs, the smile lighting his eyes. So very, very handsome. 

Athrun leans in, one hand reaching under Shinn's chin, tilting his head up. The other reaches up, tilting his hat down towards the house, completely shielding their faces from their friends above. Heine and Lunamaria shout, but Athrun ignores them, instead giving Shinn a broad grin and a wink.

Shinn smiles, too. And then Athrun kisses him. 

It's all Shinn ever wanted for a first kiss. Not too deep, not too forceful: it's definitely not Athrun's first, and it shows. He lets himself relax, even as he returns the kiss, lets himself embrace the calm and the intimacy and the giddy feeling in his chest all at once. When Athrun starts to draw back, Shinn grabs his shirt, tugging him in closer, just for a little longer. He can feel Athrun's smile, but he obliges, letting Shinn be the one to pull back, untangling his fingers from Athrun's shirt. Both their faces are still flushed, though Shinn's significantly moreso. Shinn fidgets his hands until Athrun takes them both in his own, his hat righted on his head again.

"Let's go get that lemonade," Athrun says. Shinn has never hopped a fence faster.


End file.
